oh i like so much i cant even think straight.

Not as Smart as I think I am

I know that the “57” in Heinz 57 refers to the number
of pickles that the company used to sell, and that
graham crackers and corn flakes were originally
created to prevent masturbation, but I can’t tell you
the difference between a seal and sea lion. Or
the difference between an alligator and a crocodile,
though I think it has to do something with the shape
of their snouts. Pumas and leopards are the same cats
with different colored coats, and something called
“the wingless fly” lives in the Antarctica, but I only
know this because I saw it on a PBS kid’s show once,
and also, I had to google the spelling of Antarctica
because my computer dictionary told me I wasn’t
even close. You know, they say that there is a part
of the human chest that if you strike it hard enough
the person’s heart explodes. This sounds like such a lie
that I have to believe it’s the truth. If I were science,
I’d never tell anyone where this place is. If I were science,
I’d have named this place after you.


Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz

also read "be prepared" on this site. just do it. this, to me, is fantastic verse.

and THEN i looked her up and look at what i found! She's a hero! and was at DARTMOUTH?! GAH. WHERE WAS I AND ALSO CAN I BE HER?

"In 1996, Cristin started attending NYU's Tisch School of the Arts for Dramatic Writing, where she was first introduced to poetry slams by her classmate, Beau Sia.
With the help of Beau, Cristin founded the NYC-Urbana Reading Series in 1998. Dedicated to showcasing the most innovative voices in poetry, NYC-Urbana has captured the National Slam Championship title three times. Cristin, herself, made history becoming the youngest founding slammaster in the nation when she started the series at age 19, and has since taken home two Slammaster Slam Championships. The slam is still held weekly at NYC's famed Bowery Poetry Club.
Since graduating from NYU in 2000, Cristin has worked as the editor for the "Adult" section for online portal About.com (see Cristin's second book of poetry, Hot Teen Slut for more information on that) and was a founding employee of the Bowery Poetry Club. She is currently a rights agent for the Artists Rights Society.
Cristin continues to perform and lecture internationally & nationally, including residencies with or performances at the Sydney Opera House, the Gasworks Art Complex (Melbourne Australia), Joe's Pub (at NYC's Public Theatre), the Culver Academy (Indiana) and universities & colleges, such Yale University, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth College and Amhearst College, among many others."