9.29.2008

on wishing to be loved alone, of which i am guilty

from this beautiful book:
except that mines my grandmothers. from 1955. 
when these words were precociously written:

"for the error bred in the bone
of each woman and each man
craves what it cannot have
not universal love
but to be loved alone"
-w.h. auden
is it such a sin? in discussing this verse with an indian philosopher, i had an illuminating answer. " it is alright to wish to be loved alone," he said, "mutuality is the essence of love. there cannot be others in mutuality. it is only in the time-sense that we are wrong. it is when we desire continuity of being loved alone that we go wrong..." we wish the one-and-only to be permanent, ever present and continuous...but there is no one-and-only, there are just one-and-only moments. one comes to realize that there is no permanent pure relationship and there should not be. it is not even something to be desired. the pure relationship is limited, in space and in time. in its essence it implies exclusion. it excludes the rest of life, other relationships, other sides of personality, other responsibilities in the future. it excludes growth."


1955!
can we please review what was going on in 1955?

how can she speak to me and to so many people i have read this and other passages to?
now if only i can stop loving like i'm from the 50's

ive never been much of an auden reader but i wanted to find the source of these lines 
i was stunned by the poem it springs from. 
read this and tell me it isnt the anthem of our time, of this particular september 2008...
but this was written, as the title explains, 80 years ago!
i think this whole post is just unfolding to show that despite the evidence to the contrary, so little actually changes in the human condition...

September 1, 1939
by W. H. Auden

I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second Street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
And darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night.

Accurate scholarship can
Unearth the whole offence
From Luther until now
That has driven a culture mad,
Find what occurred at Linz,
What huge imago made
A psychopathic god:
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.

Exiled Thucydides knew
All that a speech can say
About Democracy,
And what dictators do,
The elderly rubbish they talk
To an apathetic grave;
Analysed all in his book,
The enlightenment driven away,
The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.

Into this neutral air
Where blind skyscrapers use
Their full height to proclaim
The strength of Collective Man,
Each language pours its vain
Competitive excuse:
But who can live for long
In an euphoric dream;
Out of the mirror they stare,
Imperialism's face
And the international wrong.

Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
Who have never been happy or good.

The windiest militant trash
Important Persons shout
Is not so crude as our wish:
What mad Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.

From the conservative dark
Into the ethical life
The dense commuters come,
Repeating their morning vow;
"I will be true to the wife,
I'll concentrate more on my work,"
And helpless governors wake
To resume their compulsory game:
Who can release them now,
Who can reach the deaf,
Who can speak for the dumb?

All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Defenceless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.

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