For Every Chip You Chomp In My Vicinity...I Shall Kill You

Its exam time people
not the time to tick me off:
ive slept about five hours in the past three days
not including the nap i took face down on my key board that produced five pages of the letter J in the middle of my thesis
as someone kindly pointed out, its the most prolific i've been all term
i was not amused:
in fact i was going to post a little ditty called I Hate Everyone by Go Set Go
but thats a bit harsh
i don't hate everyone
i just hate the girl sitting across from me
who just spent 5 full minutes opening a bag of chips
she was trying to do it quietly
but instead simply prolonged the torture so that riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip criiinckle crinckle riiiiiiiip echoed through the silent library
i was one second from jumping on her and tearing the satanic bag from her hands
but i refrained
and was rewarded for my patience with the joy of listening to her eat them
at which point i shot her a look that stopped her mid crunch:
she's since changed chomping styles to what i have to assume she thinks is less distracting:
she puts a chip in her mouth, waits a moment, and then frenetically chompchompchompchompchomps.
pauses...and then gulps down the mashed chip.
which reminded me of this hilarious video
and since watching it i'm feeling much resolved not to reach across the table and throttle the chick.
...simply because i would never harm a hedgehog: