spinning until i pass out

went west to dads this weekend which was brilliantly calming on one hand, my fathers support is tantamount to my peace of mind. and i have it.

on the other hand i feel somewhat empty from committing out loud over and over to all his guests at dinner that i will be quitting my job this spring to head to geneva. the idea is so young but i can feel myself leaning on it unfairly. it will only happen if my connection connects to me and she's proving slippery. I dont want to let this choice get taken out of my hands when that is where it began and that is why it felt so right.

my life is my own. yes it belongs in parts to the people i love who love me but my life is my own. i have x number of minutes left on this earth, i want them to be full of people i can give to and learn from in equal parts, characterized by giving and taking, or at least challenging and rewarding... in every way.

at any rate. one of the guests at this dinner dad and sandra threw with an intimidatingly accomplished and worldly set, was the sister of the violinist sophie solomon. her schedule changed but up until this week sophie was going to join us so earlier in the month dad sent me a link to her music and i. love it. it makes me want to slap on the eyeliner, snap on some gold hoops and twirl my skirts until i pass out. (see above vid)

and then this, a quieter song, lazarus, featuring kt tunstall on the album. who we all know i also adore: