i have now revised the egg "poem" if you could even call it that a total of 23472835 times. and its still missing something.

the irony does not escape me.

one queer ass brain

chase (2:17:45 PM): ps did you do my assessment?
daisy (2:17:55 PM): yeah i did...
chase (2:17:58 PM): ok good
chase (2:18:14 PM): I'm trying to show Shari I have enough experience working with junior staff
daisy (2:18:35 PM): i was like hes all over me like white on rice, i feel fully MANAGED
chase (2:19:02 PM): you crack my shit up
daisy (2:19:17 PM): interesting way of arranging those words
chase (2:20:41 PM): is there another way?
chase (2:20:50 PM): my shit crack you up?
daisy (2:20:57 PM): orrr you crack me up?
chase (2:21:01 PM): oh lol
daisy (2:21:08 PM): im not sure how to work shit in there without it being plain crazy
daisy (2:21:13 PM): like you crack the shit up out of me?
chase (2:21:24 PM): no
daisy (2:21:25 PM): you shit my crack up
chase (2:21:25 PM): haha
chase (2:21:30 PM): I'm dying laughing!
chase (2:21:35 PM): everyone wants to know what's going on
chase (2:23:08 PM): they get jealous
daisy (2:23:29 PM): it happens on this end too. im like get your own gay.
chase (2:56:26 PM): ps. I didn't send that activity report to anyone but you two
chase (2:56:30 PM): are you going to send to Ari?
chase (2:56:34 PM): or should I?"
daisy (2:56:40 PM): i just sent
chase (2:56:43 PM): whoa
chase (2:56:45 PM): that's weird
daisy (2:56:50 PM): its like were ONE BRAIN
chase (2:56:59 PM): lol, I'm not sure that's a good thing
daisy (2:57:10 PM): one queer crazy ass brain
chase (2:57:14 PM): with a 2700 mile gap between lobes
chase (2:58:04 PM): correction 2982 miles
daisy (2:58:24 PM): you just looked it up.
daisy (2:58:27 PM): my other half is a raging dork.
chase (2:58:29 PM): just that half?
daisy (2:58:34 PM): fine. im two halves dork.
chase (2:58:45 PM): ...with absolutely no grasp on math.

I forgot the eggs.

This is the midnight revelation
that sends covers flying
cat skittering me stumbling through darkness
blinking in the humming light of a rudely awakened kitchen
to frantically fan my thumb against grease-stained pages
as if it mattered that i see what i allready know
as if one can do any more than hold what is unbroken
cold and smooth against a flushed cheek
let the knife sink into loaf-shaped paste cooling on the counter
sweet and comforting despite its failings
how the body always knows
when something critical is missing.

The Human Experience

But what is its rationale? See, earth has nothing to do
with it. Neither does the sun, but mostly Venus
has nothing to do with it, being so small
and marble. It'll be the same old story, story, story, told
by someone close to death and that someone
could be anyone, we are all so close, in our own way.

In just a few short minutes a lunar eclipse will reveal itself.
From a mere two hundred twenty-one
thousand miles from earth at its perigee
(perigee = point at which a celestial body is nearest
to earth, derived from the Greek, and coined by Ptolemy)
the missing slice of moon appears almost perfect,

as if it were a perfect bite made by a perfect, godly mouth.
This may conjure up an idea of apples,
which could easily lead to Eden, and to depravity
and desire and urges and lust, and straight back to Venus,
the romantic image of utter, absolute perfection.
But what is not absolute perfection? Let's be serious.

by nick courtright


yesterday/today i was reminded that evvvverything comes a-back-around.

thats all for now.

ive been a bad blog mom but ill make up for the neglect soon.

annnnd now were back:

daisy (5:26:19 PM): id like you to know that thekla and i just got kicked out of the only conference room by the formerly pregnant woman, holding two half-filled breast pumps. she just walked in wordlessly held them up and we cleared out. as thekla said, im all for women's needs but you can probably do that in the copy room. or at home.
heals (5:26:41 PM): omg
heals (5:26:57 PM): omgomgom NO
heals (5:29:32 PM): what was she doing with the pumps???
heals(5:29:37 PM): and where was she doing it on??
heals (5:29:41 PM): i cant sit in there ever again
heals (5:29:44 PM): WE ATE IN THERE ON FRIDAY.
heals(5:29:45 PM): food.
daisy(5:30:18 PM): yes i assumed it was food that you ate. well as inappropriate as it was i dont think one needs to rest a milky tit on any particular surface to actually perform the task. they kind of just hook on and go, right?
heals (5:30:28 PM): omg omgomg
heals (5:30:32 PM): i cant get past omg.

back

from mission to vacate brain and body for a week in order to clean slate and be ready to start fresh. failed in that mission. succeded in others. life probably does not allow for truly fresh starts but thats probably for the best.
more later.
and just because. a funny chicken:

be here now by ray lamontagne

the lyrics to this song should be perpetually playing in my ear. It reminds me of the mantra "ham-sa", that gilbert used to ground herself by baby steps... i am that. i am here. now. experiencing everything fully. not letting my one sweet life slip through my fingers.



Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

note:
i am almost certainly making the roadtrip to go see him in P town in november. with the new roomie. who has brilliant taste in music. and anyone else who was around and cared to join.

kings of convenience

i like them very much.
more on this later.

im so excited i could punch myself

starting friday i have the joy of taking a real, solid, week-long vacation/re-boot/take care of all the depressed and ailing women in my family time.
while aspects of it i expect will be difficult, i cant even express how excited i am that most of my main girls are actually IN southampton when i happen to be and that they are (judging by the email responses) as thrilled as i am to kick back in the poolhouse the way we have since we were mere tots with nothing to do but talk about where we've been, where we are, where we want to go and whatever else makes us laugh.
i plan to make a big salad and bring lots of wine and as many cupcakes as i can crank out of the old southampton oven.

recipes for my two favorite flavors below:

Ginger-Lemon Cupcakes
Cupcake ingredients:
3/4 cup (175 ml) butter, softened
1-1/2 cups (375 ml) granulated sugar
2 eggs, separated
1 tsp (5 ml) vanilla
2-1/2 cups (625 ml) cake flour
1 tbsp (15 ml) ground ginger
2 tsp (10 ml) baking powder
1/2 tsp (2 ml) salt
1 cup (250 ml) milk
Frosting ingredients:
1/4 cup (50 ml) butter
1/4 cup (50 ml) Realemon lemon juice or fresh lemon juice
3 cups (750 ml) icing sugar
1 tbsp (15 ml) chopped candied ginger
Prep: Preheat oven to 350°F Line muffin pan with paper liners. Cream butter gradually beat in sugar til fluffy. Stir in egg yolks and vanilla til smooth. Blend flour with ginger, baking powder salt. Add to butter mixture in three, alternate with milk, beat until smooth. Beat egg whites until stiff but not dry using clean beaters, fold into the batter. Divide batter in prepd baking cups. Bake 30 mins or til cupcakes spring back
Frosting: Beat butter with lemon juice add icing sugar until smooth. Ice cupcakes and sprinkle with ginger

Chocolate Mint Cupcakes
Cupcake Ingredients
8 Tbsp (1 stick, 4 ounces) unsalted butter
1/2 cup Dutch processed cocoa
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
3/4 cup flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons mint extract
1/2 cup sour cream
Buttercream Frosting Ingredients
8 Tbsp butter, room temperature (1 stick, 4 ounces)
1 Tbsp milk
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon mint extract
2 cups powdered sugar
Fresh mint for garnish
Prep: Preheat oven to 350°F. Line tin with cupcake papers. add inch of water to medium saucepan place a metal bowl over it, bringing water to a simmer. Add butter (cut into chunks), chocolate, cocoa to the bowl. As butter and chocolate melt, whisk until ingredients are smooth. Remove from heat and cool. In a small bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, powder. In a large bowl beat eggs. Add salt, sugar, mint extract and beat til combined. Slowly add chocolate butter mixture and beat til combined. Add half of sifted flour mixture, mix to combine. Mix in sour cream. Mix in remaining flour mixture. Spoon batter evenly into lined muffin cups. Place in oven in middle rack. Bake 20 minutes, until tops spring back.
Frosting: beat butter until creamy. Beat in milk and mint extract. Slowly add in powdered sugar, stopping to scrape down sides of the bowl, until light and fluffy.