6.01.2009

This moat will be two hundred feet wide with red-hot magma and also contain anthrax and perhaps some lemon juice.

My favorite writer on the daily kos, known for sarcasm saturation, discusses how obama should be building a "Super Extreme Maximum Security Prison" for the Guantanamo detainees that no one trusts in american prisons. because after all they are terrorists. "The very word invokes visions of unknown superpowers; who is to say that these giants of worldwide terror do not have the ability to mind-meld with prison guards, disabling them, or the ability to walk through solid steeel, or do not have nuclear weapons stashed in their prison-supplied orange pants even as we speak?"

why he is excellent:
"...After this third moat, the terrorists will be met with a wide queue of normal, everyday American citizens. Half of these citizens will have been told they are in line for American Idol auditions; the other half will be told they are in line for the newest version of a Sony-produced game console. Upon any terrorist reaching this point, a designated lookout will point at the escapee, shouting "look, it's Paula Abdul, and she's got the only console!"
If the prisoner survives the resulting melee, they will find themselves within a normal, everyday elementary school. Being in solitary confinement for so long, the terrorists will have little immunity to the dozens of viruses floating around any typical elementary school environment; they will soon be rendered feverish, delusional, and blinded by the glitter of several hundred Hannah Montana-branded shirts.
The seventh circle of the prisoner's hell will contain more lava. Through loudspeakers, the songs from Mama Mia will play continuously. They will be accosted by an individual asking them to define ennui, and another who will draw a brutally sketched caricature of them, making them feel bad..."

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