the question of home

so much emphasis in my life these days on this

where is it what makes it who must be in it how do i envision it am i ready for it do i need it to be happy...

and on the issue of settling down

of settling. period.

something i wrote recently in an email at 2:30 in the morning in an exhaustion and emotion induced delirium:

"i think the best love is a kind of home in and of itself. it is something you can come back to"

i woke up the next morning and questioned if anything id said made sense.

maybe not. but that part did.

i think.

i am so tired but i can never fall asleep

i am so confused but i keep acting like im figuring things out

and i may not be ready for this thing called adulthood but its happening with or without me

Domestic
BY CARL PHILLIPS

If, when studying road atlases
while taking, as you call it, your
morning dump, you shout down to
me names like Miami City, Franconia,
Cancún, as places for you to take
me to from here, can I help it if

all I can think is things that are
stupid, like he loves me he loves me
not? I don’t think so. No more
than, some mornings, waking to your
hands around me, and remembering
these are the fingers, the hands I’ve

over and over given myself to, I can
stop myself from wondering does that
mean they’re the same I’ll grow
old with. Yesterday, in the cafe I
keep meaning to show you, I thought
this is how I’ll die maybe, alone,

somewhere too far away from wherever
you are then, my heart racing from
espresso and too many cigarettes,
my head down on the table’s cool
marble, and the ceiling fan turning
slowly above me, like fortune, the

part of fortune that’s half-wished-
for only—it did not seem the worst
way. I thought this is another of
those things I’m always forgetting
to tell you, or don’t choose to
tell you, or I tell you but only

in the same way, each morning, I
keep myself from saying too loud I
love you until the moment you flush
the toilet, then I say it, when the
rumble of water running down through
the house could mean anything: flood,

your feet descending the stairs any
moment; any moment the whole world,
all I want of the world, coming down.

rachael yamagata deserves more than one song on my blog

it is a personal priority to hear her live. soon.

and if you like what you hear below, you have to check out her new album, especially "Duet", a song thats been making my stomach drop out every time i hear it...and in a close second, id recommend "Elephants" and "Sunday Afternoon"

ani's voice reminds me of when i believed in anthems

so who better to sing about obama?

i listen to this song and the cycnic in me wants to pragmatically counter her idolatry of him
but the girl who ran in the rain around a boarding school campus listening to 'not a pretty face' on her cd player...
(yeah. before ipods)
...she really wants to sing along.

is it wrong that the first thing i think is, why didn't i think of that?

really though.
sometimes i go to galleries or contemporary art shows and i see how hard everyones working to out think eachother and i wonder if there are any simple solutions left to the problem of art.
the art that really gets to me is just taking me by the shoulders, lifting me quarter of an inch to the left, and dropping me down again.
but when that actually happens, im going to be honest, my first instinct is not: what a genius.
its: what the hell is wrong with me that i couldn't figure out to do that.
when i see that kind of work, it feels like the artist has snatched up the last real estate offering a slightly altered perspective.
until i see another one
and then im just like AM I GOING AROUND WITH MY HEAD UP MY ASS?
anyway, heres the interview with Aakash Nihalani from The Moment, a very cool NYT blog

Shoooot

the Nov Paris Vogue did this incredibly interesting shoot of one model, Eniko Mihalik, photographed as if she were 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 and 60. 

wed all be so lucky to look half as good at 40 as shes made to look at 60 but anyway, the concept is visual candy.

WHY didn't i know about THESE guys?

http://www.metrosexualmovers.com/

make sure your speakers are on.

brilliant.

and based out of the boston area.
my next move is going to be FABULOUS.

heres an excerpt form an interview i found in the boston globe with the man who started MM, joe laRoche:

Q. Define a "Metrosexual Mover."

A. Well, let's define a "metrosexual." We know what a mover is. Frankly, metrosexuals have gotten a bad rap. There's nothing that mandates they have to be frivolous and lack substance. The only definitive thing one can say about a metrosexual is that he is a heterosexual male, not intimidated by subjects culturally associated with and embraced by women. So it's an additive thing: increased sensitivity, more skills, in a broader range of areas.

Q. Do you think your company name puts some people off?

A. The name functions exactly as it was designed to function. People who like it will like me and like our service. People who don't can throw darts at the phonebook.

Q. How has your stand-up comic experience come in handy in your latest venture?

A. People will usually cut you some slack when you drop their Faberge egg collection down a flight of stairs if you can make a witty, off-the-cuff comment like "Well, it looks like your grandkids are going to have to work for their college tuition!"

Q. What are your rates like?

A. You know what they say: "If you have to ask . . ."

Q. OK, fine. Then how's your hair?

A. It's real, and it's spectacular!

this makes it stupid simple

itd be great if everything in life was spelled out like this.

"T workers in crashes test positive for substance use"

um yah this is my morning line...these would be my trusty T workers... and this would be my welcome to boston from the public transportation system.
it makes me want to take my damn car to get around.
which is saying a lot because between the Masshole drivers and the fact that my car apparently has it out for me, i might as well skydive to work and be safer.
T workers in crashes test positive for substance use - The Boston Globe

pissing off joy

Believe Me Love It Was The Nightingale

grooveshark just let me create an imbedible playlist.
i can now finally create soundtracks to life as it happens around me.
brilliant.